If anyone reading this is a fan of the sitcom Seinfeld, you’ll recognize the title of this post. If not, then check out this clip:


In June of this year, 24 years of active duty military service came to a close. My colleague and close friend and I celebrated our Army retirements with a big bash, to include many libations and a live jazz band that included my daughter sitting in on a few songs. My favorite can be seen here:


How does one leave after so many years, after being indoctrinated you might even say? Surprisingly easy! The “I don’t have to’s” have quickly overtaken the regret in the past 5 months since my DD-214 has dried. What don’t I have to do anymore. Here’s a short list:

  • Shave daily or at all
  • Get a haircut, ever
  • Wear a uniform
  • Ask for permission to drive my car more than 250 miles from base
  • Pee for freedom
  • Prove I can run 2 miles in 20 minutes

I’m sure there are a few things that I’ll miss, like spending quality time in a cesspool getting rockets sent my way. Or watching the president dismantle the military by firing our superiors. Or seeing a nurse as surgeon general of the Army place more emphasis on making sure we all get enough sleep rather than training to be mission ready for the next deployment (Google “Army performance triad” to be surprised at yet another waste of your tax dollars). Or…maybe not! At least I know I did a little good for some, and that’s my high note.

Thank you very much, you’ve been great!